Monday, October 20, 2008

Your ballroom days are over, baby

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Your ballroom days are over, baby
...
This is from yesterday at Beechwood Cemetery. I really, truly and honestly meant to get away from the cemetery and find something else to shoot, so I brought the bike lock with the intention of exploring the shore around Mackay Lake in Rockcliffe. Big disappointment! The whole lake is fenced off, and there's nothing to see except for bare trees and benches with a splendid view of the fence. There are signs every fifty yards that say PLEASE HELP CONSERVATION EFFORTS, but it's not clear to me what the rich folks in Rockcliffe are trying to conserve except for their own obscenely expensive peace and quiet.

After the lake I went up to the Acacia Avenue lookout (too bright to do anything with the view), then back down Acacia to Beechwood Avenue for coffee at Second Cup. It was nice sitting in the sun, but of course I couldn't help thinking of other coffees I didn't drink alone back in the days of "I love you". Not exactly the right frame of mind to meet Fernando at Beechwood, where the Zombie Walk was gathering before heading downtown. I got there early and got some good shots around the pond, luckily, because the Zombie Walk itself didn't really turn my crank. There's something terribly wrong about ghosts and vampires walking the streets in bright sunlight...

Mostly I went there to see Mike, who was with Fernando and happy to report that he's moving in two months and buying a D300, lucky guy. Fernando didn't say much until I was getting ready to go home, and what he said at that point was: "You should talk to your doctor, I notice you're pretty down. Maybe you need different medication." I could have laughed if I wasn't so close to crying all the time. It's a convenient explanation, isn't it, the bipolar disorder. He doesn't have to think that maybe I'm pretty down because he just dumped me -- it's just a clinical symptom and I need different meds.

One day I'm sure I will be laughing about it. But it's gonna take a while.

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